Although
this article was first written a few years ago for Wolf-Bytes, I have
taken the time to update things a bit, in light of the Journal's constant
and misguided attempts to bully Internet websites. In my honest opinion,
what they are trying to do with Scout.com and the Red Menace is criminal.
Since this was first written, the Journal has used an unfair "agreement"
made over seventy-five years ago in the midst's of the Great Depression,
to drive the much-superior Albuquerque Tribune out of business. First
of all, I pay almost $100 per year to have access to the Journal articles.
Yes, there are certainly better ways to spend my money.
Lighting
it on fire, for instance.
But
no, I do the honorable thing and pay for it. I used to (for many years)
purchase the in-state edition of the Journal here in Clovis, for much
the same reason (to follow Lobo sports). I could leave it in a library...or
a barber shop...or a restaurant if I wanted to, and how many people would
then read it for free? Nothing that the Journal pigs can do about that,
now is there?....and it happens everyday across this state. They can't
do anything about websites either, who pay for their service and give
full credit to the Journal everytime that they post an article
on their website.
Well,
the truth is, the Journal isn't setting the world on fire right now with
legitimate subscriptions like mine, and they are running scared.
They
ought to be. People like me are their readers and their greatest promotional
tools. And still they crap on us? Who do they think is buying those subscriptions?
Aggie fans? Mark Smith?
Seriously
though (and you the reader will ultimately decide just how serious) here
are my personal feelings on the Albuquerque beat writers. Countless more
scholarly men than those such as I, would probably call the following
reviews a "pile of poop." Well, it is my pile of poop
and my opinion. And there is nothing that the Journal Gestapo can
do about that. Consider this kind of a "Sports Speakup for Even Dumber-Dummies,"
and guess who the dummies are this time? As for the opinions that follow...simply,
follow your nose.
For
a great many years, the folks around Albuquerque have called the local
newspapers "ass wipes." How very appropriate that description
is. For just like our bathroom buddies, they are essential to our everyday
lives.
Used
by many, yet saved by few, these kindred spirits also endure a unique
love/hate relationship with their patrons. What is worse than missing
the news for a few days or running out of toilet paper? Ah, but this popularity
is extremely short-lived. Almost immediately after the words are typed
or the crack is wiped, their purpose is at an end and our previous need
for them turns to complete and utter disgust.
After
all, they don't call it the "reading room" for nothing.
Jeff
Carlton - A
Jeff
is a total and complete weirdo as Lobo hoops writers go. Someone who has
never claimed to be a Lobo fan - instead, he is a fan of those orange
guys from Syracuse. Somehow, this horrible and disfiguring handicap has
never kept his fingers from finding the pulse of what Lobo basketball
really is all about - or for that matter, what life is all about.
He
gets it - which is more than I can say for just about everyone else
in this town.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR:
Off the charts.
A
genuinely good person who writes about sports for a living. Check it out
- they are an endangered species. He is honest and his integrity is beyond
question. In fact, he often pisses me off with this integrity (letting
people spew about our team on his blog) - although I always have to remember,
he is a journalist - and not a fan. That is the only reason he
did not get an A+ from me here. That and because I am the most edited
person on his blog. Everyone knows that my nickname is 'Dr. Love' - so
what gives?
Oh
well - I should probably have docked him all of the way down to a B for
that major malfunction. I won't though, as he has played masterfully with
the hand he was given here in Albuquerque.
Favorite
story about the Carltonator:
When I interviewed him after he left the Tribune,
I told him, "You may not think that you are going to miss the
Lobos, but I'll bet that every night while you are down there in Arlington,
you are going to find yourself waking up and howling at the moon!"
Smirking,
Jeff replied, "Not unless there is something really interesting
going on in that bed!"
Aw,
what the hell. Change my grade to an
A+.
Update:
Jeff is now a successful Associated Press Reporter
in the Dallas, Texas area. His articles have appeared in major publications
all across the nation (although not the Albuquerque Journal, which is
more like a mid-minor).
Iliana
Limon - A
Like
Carlton, Iliana is a very talented and affable writer whom her interview
subjects have come to know and trust. No mean feat in today's world, to
be sure. Covering both women's hoops and men's football, she has done
a tremendous job in both of these two giant - yet completely different
sports. Also like Carlton, she has been a tremendous asset on our site
and is always thinking of her readers.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR: Extremely High
I
have heard from some people who went to school with her, that Iliana is
extremely competitive and that this sometimes overshadowed her
personality. Well, all I know is of my own personal impressions of her
when we met and they couldn't be more positive. Besides, that "competitiveness"
is probably what drives her to work her fanny off gathering news and wonderful
interviews with the kids for us.
Favorite
story:
It was the time she was picked to be the Trib beat reporter for Lobo football.
Being concerned that she might be treated differently by the players on
his team, Rocky called a team meeting where he stated the following: "I
expect all of you to behave the same way for Miss Limon as you would with
any other reporter. If I hear of any discrimination or sexist behavior,
then I will personally kick your fucking asses!" (and I quote)
I should probably give her an A plus then, simply for having to babysit
Carlton and Stevens, but then the Carltonator would throw a fit and I
am all out of bottles (the kind with booze in them - not milk).
Check
that: I should give her a Purple Heart and an A+.
A+
it is.
Update:
Iliana is now a successful reporter and assistant editor for the Orlando,
Florida Sentinal. "I am very happy down here," Illiana told
me on the phone last year.
Mike Hall - A
The
best friend a Lady Lobo ever had, and a sight for sore eyes to see when
our gals need some positive words of support. They call Mike a "homer"
and he wears it like a badge of honor. That he also wears it well goes
without saying.
A
talented scribe, Mike is living proof that a reporter can have on his
cherry-colored glasses and still write clearly, truthfully and beautifully.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR: Extremely High
I
don't really know Mike Hall as well as I'd like to, although he is a member
of our site (wish he would post more often!). That is the only
reason I don't give him an A plus here, as Iliana and Jeff earn that extra
distinction with their participation and fearlessness among us Lobo fans.
If the feelings of the people I have talked with who do know him
are any indication, then he must certainly be a terrific person. Lord
only knows, his presence on the Journal sports staff alone, is often it's
one, saving grace.
Favorite
story:
When I asked Mike why he never posted on our site like the other reporters,
he said, "I am really just an observer here, flying by the seat of
my pants on the Internet."
Nevertheless,
when he got out of the hospital during one his numerous stays, he did
write us a very nice thank you and update on his condition.
Recently,
Mike was out of action for a while and back in the hospital again. I know
that I speak for all of his readers when I say, Get well soon, Mike!
Update:
Though his heart never really threw in the towel, journalist Mike Hall
was finally counted out on February 23rd, 2007. Just a few days later
-- on March 1st, he was laid to rest in a beautiful celebration by those
that loved him most. We sure do miss you Mike.
And
that'll be what I feel whenever I see a rainbow over the Pit. It's just
that old rascal Mike Hall again -- flying by the seat of his pants and
covering his beloved Lady Lobos for that big newspaper up in the sky.
Richard Stevens - B+
Richard
Stevens gets extra credit - which his basketball writing often doesn't
deserve, simply because of that likeability factor. Unfortunately,
most of his casual readers will never understand that, which is entirely
his own fault.
Case
in point: In his last article - which also backhandedly inspired this
one, he mispelled Tony Danridge's name a grand total of seven times!
How
can he ever expect anyone to take him seriously with errors like that?
Nevertheless,
he really is a nice guy and a world class father with two amazing
kids. In fact, Stevens essentially resembles one of those flashing neon
Jesus signs that you might see outside a church casino in Vegas: In
other words, it may look like a whore, but it is really a saint.
Favorite
story:
According
to Stevens, he has royal blood in his veins. I have often wondered if
that meant Count Dracula. Anyway, here is a short excerpt from an earlier
interview that I did with him, where I explain.
"Richard's
great grandfather originally came to New Mexico from England in 1881.
His name, Montague Sheffield Faquar Stevens,
was - believe it or not, a direct descendent of the Duke of Buckingham
and Mary Queen of Scotts. Yes, I know that is hard to believe, but it
is true. When I first learned of this fact, I thought that I might be
coming down with mad cow disease, such was the extent of my disbelief."
"This
great-grandfather of his was even dubbed by some as the "Dean of
New Mexico pioneers" and you can actually find him in the book "New
Mexico Place Names," if you want to verify The Linz's royal lineage."
Truth
is stranger than fiction, eh? If it wasn't for his 'Linz' alter ego, I
might still have had to knock this grade down a little lower. The
Linz is usually pretty damned clever in his articles without actually
being mean. Stevens on the other hand, is almost always mean in his
articles, without actually being clever. The difference between the two
of them is often frightening when reading a basketball article by Stevens.
He helped run Colson out of town (in addition to Bliss and Fran) and now
he claims to have been a fan of Colson! Therefore, it is of little wonder,
that Ritchie McKay makes the sign of the cross whenever he runs across
this shape-shifting creature.
Me,
I just make the sign of the Lobo.
He
doesn't seem to know what that one is, either.
Update:
Wouldn't you know it, Stevens had now gone and joined the 'dark side.'
That is, he is a complete and total homer now, as the senior sports writer
for GoLobos.com. Gotta love it sports fans, although I do miss
the Linz!
Of
course, I also miss Eb from Green Acres. Go figure.
Greg
Archuleta - B-
Greg
is playing with a handicap here. That is, he works for the Journal. While
he most always tows the company line, he has also been known to give credit
where credit is due when it comes to websites.
As
for his writing, he has few equals when he cuts loose. His football writing
in particular, is graceful and articulate, even while staying solidly
over the line that separates journalists from sports fans. It is for mainly
for his contributions, that I like to post Journal articles on our website.
Arch usually connects solidly with whatever it is he is swinging at, while
his stablemates usually can't even be bothered with trying to connect
with their readership.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR: Incomplete.
Don't
really know him all that well, although he was a member of Wolf-Bytes.
Which leads me to our Favorite story: Greg
used to be very complimentary of our website back in the day, mostly through
emails and such. So imagine my surprise, when he fired off an angry email
to me all of a sudden, saying, "don't ever insult me like that again."
Huh?
Clearly, he had us mixed up with another website. When I attempted to
explain this to him, he never even bothered to reply. Which is the very
same thing that happened when I published a tribute to their fallen comrade
(Mike Hall), and asked the Journal staff what they thought of it.
Silence
sometimes speaks louder than words, I guess. Using their tactics, perhaps
I should have just left this space blank. But perhaps, they were simply
jealous that an Internet web site could do a better job of honoring one
of their own than they did. At any rate, events such as these are why
Archuleta only gets a B- from me.
Update:
They still ain't talking.
Mark
Smith - C-
Mark
should probably flunk this class simply for what he did to us fans for
greeting Stephen Weigh at the airport. He is arrogant, aloof and thinks
he is doing the Lobos a favor. Truth is, he would be doing them a favor
only if he took over the Aggie desk.
An
actual graduate (like Stevens) of UNM, he must have had a horrific and
life-altering experience in drama class, as he has been trying to manufacture
drama for the Lobos ever since. Surprisingly, he does show some real talent
for writing when he is not preoccupied with golf or looking for something
to stand on. This and the fact that he breaks a lot of news late at night,
keep him from getting a lower grade.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR: Incomplete.
Rumor
has it that Mother Teresa once told Mark Smith to, "Go screw yourself."
Nevertheless, he did give me a scoop back when I thought he was a pretty
decent fellow and I can't hate him - even though he tried to make us look
like fools later on. His father was one of the most honored and beloved
sports figures in Albuquerque as well, which makes it difficult to completely
dismiss him. Finally, he is also the friend of my friend Kurt Roth, so
there must be a "hidden child" in there somewhere, who is likeable
and buried beneath that smarmy persona.
Which
also might help to explain many of his published disasters (the child
has crayons).
Favorite
story:
A friend of mine in Albuquerque, once bumped into Smith at a local mall.
He was shocked to see that Smith was wearing a Lobo shirt, and when he
asked him about it, Mark replied with a shrug, "It's a rental."
Update:
Mark Smith is still Mark Smith's favorite reporter.
Richard Wright - C
Wright
eeks by with a passing grade here, mainly because of the genuine talent
he often shows when covering the lesser-known sports. He knows his history
and can be one of the most compelling writers in Albuquerque when he puts
forth the effort. When covering men's basketball however, this blind squirrel
usually ends up in a parking lot looking for an acorn rather than in a
forest.
LIKEABILITY
FACTOR: Incomplete.
Like
the Unabomber, Wright is somewhat interesting to read, although I really
wouldn't want to know either one of them any better than I already do.
As evidenced by his writing on Lobo basketball, apparently Wright feels
the same way about his subject matter.
Sometimes
referred to as the "preppie reporter," I can't for the life
of me understand why - unless 'preppie' is short for Preparation H.
Favorite
Story:
Although I can't personally vouch for the authenticity of this account,
I feel the need to pass it on, much like a kidney stone. Apparently, some
years ago at a Journal Christmas party, Wright got so drunk that he went
around lighting people's cigarettes with his farts.
You
just can't make this stuff up, folks.
Update:
Wright is still passing gas, although it is mostly unleaded these
days.